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Thoughts that keep me up at night...

I tend to write what keeps me from sleeping at night, so I have some resolution to whatever the topic is. Most is what God has been dealing with me on in my life, the rest is fairly random that I create a driection for.

Group 1 Crew - He Said (Feat. Chris August) ~Lyrics

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October 07, 2012

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Selfish unforgiveness

January 27, 2019

We're called to turn the other cheek, and yet we constantly have social media telling us all about toxicity, immaturity, and even not accepting apologies, only different behavior. I wasn't raised to be weak, or to not fight back. I wasn't raised to be codependent, and battle a lot when I have to be due to physical limits. I love my independence; I love my strength, but I also have no idea when I am wrestling with things emotionally that feel big, if I am responding correctly, because all I want to do is shut down, walk away, or find a solution by myself without drama or input. There were times I was super rebellious in how I handled things, and while my heart isn't wanting to rebel now for any reason, I wrestle with my biblical knowledge of what to do or how to handle a situation, and my own stubbornness that wants to say "ok all of that, but not this. I'm not done with this yet." Even typing this I know most likely it's the wrong attitude, and yet I g...

Love is

February 18, 2011

Random writing I had found in one of my old massage notebooks. Not sure when I wrote it, but might as well add it here for those who may need it. Love is being willing to die for the other person. Love is not knowing the whole story, but being willing to listen and believe. Love is the best thing in the world. Acceptance indescribable. Patience undeniable. Singing in the rain or dancing through the pain. Love is an everlasting friendship when you’re the furthest apart. Love is exciting, inspirational, and magnetic. Love is more beautiful than words. There is a lot behind those 3 simple words. There is more than just saying it because it is expected. You can say it in a friendly way any day. But don’t say it as more until you truly feel that way. Thinking you’re in love and being in love are two different things. Understanding the difference makes you stronger. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not ruse, it is no...

Long time no blog

October 05, 2014

I used to blog more frequently, because I had a laptop. Sitting at my desktop is torture on my neck and arm, but occasionally it is a wonderful escape from my phone or homeschooling. We are in the middle of chaos, but I am so glad that I am homeschooling. So much is better this year than last with the schooling. Last year was really our boys first year truly participating, even though they had both done workbooks and more as they freely chose with us before that point. Also, last year they weren't very committed to homeschooling, even though it was both of their choice. Prior to last year they both wanted public school, which we would have supported as well. This year they love school, but occasionally need a longer break than I want to factor in. They sit and focus on worksheets or more for much longer, and genuinely enjoy the work usually. Celese is doing much better too. She recently got a very special desk, that is mainly for sewing and crafts, but is secluded enough that the i...