But-ing
Please read my Intro found in Feb. if you are new to reading my blog.
I can't remember if this was 2 seperate thoughts or 1.
At the risk of not sleeping or continuing to be distracted in my own head; I need to finally write what has been on my mind for a few days now. As someone who doesn’t like to be in control, and usually has given advice on how not to worry or stress as much as most normally do; I found myself in an interesting spot with God. I had been taking control away from him by “but”ing my way through items I wasn’t ready to let go of. I have many examples of this, but will use the most specific example I can think of. This example is specific for the personalities like my husband who might not comprehend the topic as well otherwise. Most of my “but-ing” does not actually have anything to do with my husband, but more my own personal past or current choices. However, when God really started to deal with me on this, it was after a random thought popped into my head involving my husband and our past. The thought was nothing as specific as it might sound to him especially when he reads this. More that despite all the forgiveness and reestablishing trust through a slow process, I found myself still struggling with my thoughts on a rare occasion. The thoughts would be along the lines of “I know he has changed, but…” or “I know he is being honest, but…” That’s when it really sank in. I heard God say “Why do you keep “but-ing” me out of your life? Why don’t you trust me after all I have done for you? You don’t need to be able to explain anything to anyone, you just need to have the faith that has brought you this far, through every aspect in your life. Stop allowing Satan to gain footholds in the midst of trying to become your best through me.” I just sat there like ouch, wonderful but ouch. I needed to hear it. I had been struggling a ton on my new found desire to dig deeper with my unending quench for God in my life again. In the midst of the struggle was Satan taking over many thoughts. Most I could dismiss instantly, and not allow the thought to continue. The rest I sat there doubting myself a ton. Realizing doubt and worry are not from God was something I needed, but in the time it all started in my head (went on deeper and deeper for a few days), it was a sore spot I didn’t even pay attention to before.
I am adding this specific video because it was exactly what I needed to hear tonight as I pondered some thoughts with God. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yq8elC_kYs&feature=related
“Love me with all of your heart and all of your mind.” That’s it. It is not about all the rules and regulations; it is about keeping our heart in the right place with God. If it means we find people in leadership who listen to music that makes us wonder if it is acceptable because we don’t feel it is acceptable for our own lives, stop and look at those people. Do they honestly love God? Maybe when they listen to the music we question, they don’t hear what we do, or they don’t have a past like we do that might revert our minds back into the wrong way of thinking by submitting to listening when God has individually called us not to. Stop over analyzing the rules, and just stay focused on continuously maintaining the crazy love that we have all felt when we started our journeys. If we don’t let that love die, we won’t lose sight of the awe we need, and we won’t become too focused on rules that don’t need to be the most important aspect anyways.
I can't remember if this was 2 seperate thoughts or 1.
At the risk of not sleeping or continuing to be distracted in my own head; I need to finally write what has been on my mind for a few days now. As someone who doesn’t like to be in control, and usually has given advice on how not to worry or stress as much as most normally do; I found myself in an interesting spot with God. I had been taking control away from him by “but”ing my way through items I wasn’t ready to let go of. I have many examples of this, but will use the most specific example I can think of. This example is specific for the personalities like my husband who might not comprehend the topic as well otherwise. Most of my “but-ing” does not actually have anything to do with my husband, but more my own personal past or current choices. However, when God really started to deal with me on this, it was after a random thought popped into my head involving my husband and our past. The thought was nothing as specific as it might sound to him especially when he reads this. More that despite all the forgiveness and reestablishing trust through a slow process, I found myself still struggling with my thoughts on a rare occasion. The thoughts would be along the lines of “I know he has changed, but…” or “I know he is being honest, but…” That’s when it really sank in. I heard God say “Why do you keep “but-ing” me out of your life? Why don’t you trust me after all I have done for you? You don’t need to be able to explain anything to anyone, you just need to have the faith that has brought you this far, through every aspect in your life. Stop allowing Satan to gain footholds in the midst of trying to become your best through me.” I just sat there like ouch, wonderful but ouch. I needed to hear it. I had been struggling a ton on my new found desire to dig deeper with my unending quench for God in my life again. In the midst of the struggle was Satan taking over many thoughts. Most I could dismiss instantly, and not allow the thought to continue. The rest I sat there doubting myself a ton. Realizing doubt and worry are not from God was something I needed, but in the time it all started in my head (went on deeper and deeper for a few days), it was a sore spot I didn’t even pay attention to before.
I am adding this specific video because it was exactly what I needed to hear tonight as I pondered some thoughts with God. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yq8elC_kYs&feature=related
“Love me with all of your heart and all of your mind.” That’s it. It is not about all the rules and regulations; it is about keeping our heart in the right place with God. If it means we find people in leadership who listen to music that makes us wonder if it is acceptable because we don’t feel it is acceptable for our own lives, stop and look at those people. Do they honestly love God? Maybe when they listen to the music we question, they don’t hear what we do, or they don’t have a past like we do that might revert our minds back into the wrong way of thinking by submitting to listening when God has individually called us not to. Stop over analyzing the rules, and just stay focused on continuously maintaining the crazy love that we have all felt when we started our journeys. If we don’t let that love die, we won’t lose sight of the awe we need, and we won’t become too focused on rules that don’t need to be the most important aspect anyways.
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