Vulnerable
Please read my Intro found in Feb. if you are new to reading my blog.
Seems odd to post so much at once, but I want these up to date so when I do create new ones they are current. These all started this past month, not just today.
I realized as I allowed my husband to read through this, how much of me has forever been completely private and unknown. I have written many songs and poems, yet have only on occasion showed anyone those. Even when one became published, I used a pen name so it wasn’t associated with me. As much as I am very loyal to my friends, and would allow any to be close friends, I realized I am not really a good friend. Love means taking risks. Those risks could be in just allowing someone to know all your thoughts, or even simply allowing more to know things that no one else would know. It also means doing your best to trust that those you open up to won’t judge you. This is the part I have always struggled with. We are taught to judge, even though God doesn’t want us to. Also, I have always been very guarded. I have dealt with many rejections, but as strong as I can keep the exterior, it never gets easier for me to deal with on the inside. This is the biggest area of control I have never allowed God to take over. Everyone has their own area that no matter how much they love God, no matter how much they trust God, and how much they learn to allow Him to work through them; they never give up total control. We are called to give up total control to Him so that He can finally do all He has planned for us, without us getting in our own way.
Growing hurts, but in a good way. I need to change, but so do many others. Maybe that is the main reason I just have to keep writing lately. Maybe this really is meant for more than me. I am so open to doing whatever God has planned for me at this point, even if it means putting myself out there with my thoughts, or even returning back to some of my passions I used to be great at, but got told the opposite of and was forced to not be in positions where I could use any form of talent for His work. I need to not be in fear of such minor things like rejection. God was rejected. Jesus was rejected and killed, and yet continued on despite any rejection. Change is scary because it makes us vulnerable. Most of us would rather feel anything than to feel vulnerable. However, unless we are willing to change and be vulnerable, we can’t be changed. What more does God have in store for our lives when we give up the ultimate control. The most intimate thing in our own lives we have never allowed anyone to really see or be a part of? It may give us butterflies or other nerves to go beyond our known safe little world, but doesn’t God’s word say “fear not” 366 times? That means he says it for all the days we exist, including the extra day with leap year. Beyond this, many times God promises that if we are His children we don’t need revenge, we don’t need to worry, we just need HIM. He takes care of the birds, and we are much more valuable than the birds to Him. He also promises to take care of us. Don’t twist this into having an easy life; that he does not promise. Taking care of us means that we have His protection and the ultimate safety if we are doing what He has called us to do, no matter how new or how scary it might seem. Are you ready to not only be vulnerable but also to be fearless in that vulnerability? Let’s face this fight together to become who we have always been called to be. Together we are that much more powerful, and God has already promised each one of us that with Him none can fail.
Seems odd to post so much at once, but I want these up to date so when I do create new ones they are current. These all started this past month, not just today.
I realized as I allowed my husband to read through this, how much of me has forever been completely private and unknown. I have written many songs and poems, yet have only on occasion showed anyone those. Even when one became published, I used a pen name so it wasn’t associated with me. As much as I am very loyal to my friends, and would allow any to be close friends, I realized I am not really a good friend. Love means taking risks. Those risks could be in just allowing someone to know all your thoughts, or even simply allowing more to know things that no one else would know. It also means doing your best to trust that those you open up to won’t judge you. This is the part I have always struggled with. We are taught to judge, even though God doesn’t want us to. Also, I have always been very guarded. I have dealt with many rejections, but as strong as I can keep the exterior, it never gets easier for me to deal with on the inside. This is the biggest area of control I have never allowed God to take over. Everyone has their own area that no matter how much they love God, no matter how much they trust God, and how much they learn to allow Him to work through them; they never give up total control. We are called to give up total control to Him so that He can finally do all He has planned for us, without us getting in our own way.
Growing hurts, but in a good way. I need to change, but so do many others. Maybe that is the main reason I just have to keep writing lately. Maybe this really is meant for more than me. I am so open to doing whatever God has planned for me at this point, even if it means putting myself out there with my thoughts, or even returning back to some of my passions I used to be great at, but got told the opposite of and was forced to not be in positions where I could use any form of talent for His work. I need to not be in fear of such minor things like rejection. God was rejected. Jesus was rejected and killed, and yet continued on despite any rejection. Change is scary because it makes us vulnerable. Most of us would rather feel anything than to feel vulnerable. However, unless we are willing to change and be vulnerable, we can’t be changed. What more does God have in store for our lives when we give up the ultimate control. The most intimate thing in our own lives we have never allowed anyone to really see or be a part of? It may give us butterflies or other nerves to go beyond our known safe little world, but doesn’t God’s word say “fear not” 366 times? That means he says it for all the days we exist, including the extra day with leap year. Beyond this, many times God promises that if we are His children we don’t need revenge, we don’t need to worry, we just need HIM. He takes care of the birds, and we are much more valuable than the birds to Him. He also promises to take care of us. Don’t twist this into having an easy life; that he does not promise. Taking care of us means that we have His protection and the ultimate safety if we are doing what He has called us to do, no matter how new or how scary it might seem. Are you ready to not only be vulnerable but also to be fearless in that vulnerability? Let’s face this fight together to become who we have always been called to be. Together we are that much more powerful, and God has already promised each one of us that with Him none can fail.
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