Long Way Around
So I have a brief version of my testimony on the main other blog I have, but I don't know that it truly encompasses my "long way around" moments we have been through. I know so many people I dearly loved, have turned against God for moments that would be the long way around, or in moments of compounding hurts and anger or offenses into one large pile to fester and build into a large fireball in the end in their hearts. I often get challenged on "how do you know God is real?" or "how is God good, with all the bad that goes on everywhere?"
I live in pain, but I am alive from something many don't get to say that about. How is that not good? No our plans weren't for me to be at home with the kids, or for us to be homeschooling parents. No, the plan wasn't to have my husband working 7 days a week for years, all while waiting on the opportunity for his amazing business plan to be able to be off and running. The thing though, that so many miss in all of this, is it took all of this and more for us to learn how to be connected in our marriage with an unbreakable bond. It took all of this, for my husband to get serious about God, and become one of the most dedicated and amazing men I know. It took all of this to break me from being a complete control freak, and to genuinely understand that if God gave me things I didn't think I could handle (like being a stay at home parent, or homeschool parent), that he really would come in and fill all the gaps with his strength. Many people think that because I am a stay at home mom, I must be a very patient, loving, caring person. The truth is, all I wanted was my career. Originally I didn't even want children. I am glad God knew better, because of how greatly my life has been changed in positive ways, for each new situation that I used to say "oh I could never do that" to. Yes I had many moments where it was a very hard fight to hold onto joy, even though I wasn't happy. To trust God's plan for the future would still work out, even when I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I am not saying my "long way around" is done yet. But I have had so many opportunities to share my story, to lift others up when I see them with the same scars or neck brace, to help others that I wouldn't have encountered on any other journey path. I learned how to stop and help, when I saw someone in need. I learned how to truly listen, instead of only thinking of comebacks or myself. It isn't perfect, but I am more than ok. It isn't finished, but I am in no rush. God has still never failed me, even when life hasn't made sense. God's timing is perfect, even when the patience is hard, and the learning curve is steep. The thing I love most though, is knowing how much stronger it has made me, even if it doesn't always add up to those who want to discredit the God part. Experiences can be argued, but when you know beyond a shadow of doubt what you went through and why, the arguments won't change that or your passion for it.
I live in pain, but I am alive from something many don't get to say that about. How is that not good? No our plans weren't for me to be at home with the kids, or for us to be homeschooling parents. No, the plan wasn't to have my husband working 7 days a week for years, all while waiting on the opportunity for his amazing business plan to be able to be off and running. The thing though, that so many miss in all of this, is it took all of this and more for us to learn how to be connected in our marriage with an unbreakable bond. It took all of this, for my husband to get serious about God, and become one of the most dedicated and amazing men I know. It took all of this to break me from being a complete control freak, and to genuinely understand that if God gave me things I didn't think I could handle (like being a stay at home parent, or homeschool parent), that he really would come in and fill all the gaps with his strength. Many people think that because I am a stay at home mom, I must be a very patient, loving, caring person. The truth is, all I wanted was my career. Originally I didn't even want children. I am glad God knew better, because of how greatly my life has been changed in positive ways, for each new situation that I used to say "oh I could never do that" to. Yes I had many moments where it was a very hard fight to hold onto joy, even though I wasn't happy. To trust God's plan for the future would still work out, even when I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I am not saying my "long way around" is done yet. But I have had so many opportunities to share my story, to lift others up when I see them with the same scars or neck brace, to help others that I wouldn't have encountered on any other journey path. I learned how to stop and help, when I saw someone in need. I learned how to truly listen, instead of only thinking of comebacks or myself. It isn't perfect, but I am more than ok. It isn't finished, but I am in no rush. God has still never failed me, even when life hasn't made sense. God's timing is perfect, even when the patience is hard, and the learning curve is steep. The thing I love most though, is knowing how much stronger it has made me, even if it doesn't always add up to those who want to discredit the God part. Experiences can be argued, but when you know beyond a shadow of doubt what you went through and why, the arguments won't change that or your passion for it.
Comments
Post a Comment