Thoughts that keep me up at night...

My newest "God won't let me sleep, so either I need to pray and read more or just hear him speak." The result is what my husband lovingly titled Our Greed Prayer. Lord, I am so sorry for my greed. You call us to beat our bodies until it is in submission to us, yet I am lazy. I say I need food help, but spend money on wants as well as needs without much thought. How dare I rob from the truly poor out of greed! I lack so much wisdom from you, that I show it in no self control. Help me grow in you, as I also re-learn to control and beat my own body again. Help me to find opportunities to help your kingdom way more than my mind can fathom; to make up for all my greed and more. Teach me to think like you & not like my society deems correct in any form. 

Well it has been too long since I have blogged. This will probably have an array of topics God has been dealing with me on. First off, politics. I think our country, especially Christians are often all too ready to be quarrelsome on this. I look at the candidates for the upcoming election, and don’t see any of them as someone I think God would vote for if he had to put in a ballot. I respect anyone elected, even if I don’t agree with them, because God has asked us to respect our governing leaders. I do vote out of respect for our country and all those who fought to give us that right, especially with women being allowed to vote. Beyond that, I look at the mess of “hate” speech towards either side that come from Christians, and feel like not being someone filled with hate makes me seem less knowledgeable than those who want fights. God calls us to show his love, keep our tongues in check, and to not be quarrelsome. How are we doing this, when we can’t even keep peace among those who Go...

God tells us to serve enthusiastically in all we do as if we were serving God himself. Where does this leave room for complaining? What about taking for granted the fact that all reading this are a minimum of 95% richer than the rest of the world? Jobs seem mundane, household chores seem mundane, and therefore we justify complaints, whining, bad attitude and more as an acceptable response to these things. If you didn’t have a house to clean would you be able to find the blessings in your life from God still? I know many answer yes, but can’t understand the blessings they have now in abundance. How can we be blessed in spirit through all we do, if we don’t even consider simple “necessary” things a blessing? Women in the bible were your typical women as those who exist today, yet they praised God for the blessings they had, the chores they did, and served with a grateful heart. Most of us who are abundantly blessed have worked hard in life to afford the things we decided we needed or wan...

This is one of my facebook notes that is "old" now, but definitely should be fresh in mind Love your neighbor as you love yourself. The reality of how bad we are as neighbors really sinks in when tragedy strikes. We as Christians are living examples of Christ. We are supposed to live how he did. His example was that of a man who didn't hate, seek revenge, or avoid those around him who didn't fit his mold of what they should be. He didnt discriminate, he didn't loathe even when they were as awful as anyone we could meet towards him, he just loved. Plain and simple, always forgiving, always giving chances, loved. Why then as a society have we strayed so far from this love? Why have we become a closed off, ice cold society from all that we don't agree with or believe? All those who Jesus saw really needed to understand the real love we are choosing not to give. True love is difficult. True love is not easy, and it definitely doesn't have boundries of ...

Random writing I had found in one of my old massage notebooks. Not sure when I wrote it, but might as well add it here for those who may need it. Love is being willing to die for the other person. Love is not knowing the whole story, but being willing to listen and believe. Love is the best thing in the world. Acceptance indescribable. Patience undeniable. Singing in the rain or dancing through the pain. Love is an everlasting friendship when you’re the furthest apart. Love is exciting, inspirational, and magnetic. Love is more beautiful than words. There is a lot behind those 3 simple words. There is more than just saying it because it is expected. You can say it in a friendly way any day. But don’t say it as more until you truly feel that way. Thinking you’re in love and being in love are two different things. Understanding the difference makes you stronger. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not ruse, it is no...

Not sure why I titled it New but yeah. It is God using my randomness at His best for this one. It is more like an Intro, but that blog title already exists....it just doesn't cover this stuff. Well still clueless and now with more on my mind than I ever imagined, I look forward to a very new blog journey if not more blogs in general. My main direction right now is to continue to improve how I mother my children as I have gained much patience in my year of homeschooling, but still have areas God has been clearly dealing with me on involving them. Also, the second part of my main direction given is to cut back wasting my time on the computer. Both have improved, but not to a point where I know God has His mindset on for my life. Spiritual debates have been on almost every issue of my life this year, and I know a huge reason he wants me to change my approaches in the 2 main areas is to further focus on Him while teaching my children how to do the same. I need direction more than...

I wasn't originally sure when I wrote this, that it should be posted, but I am now. So tonight there will be 2 blogs. This was from January though. Funny how earlier I was thinking it had been too long since I had written down anything. There is always a lot I could write down, or even should, but more often I forget. Currently, I can’t sleep thinking about my crash from over 2 years ago. On the 2 year 1 day mark of the crash I had to sit through the deposition for my case. Honestly, the emotions I felt there I can’t begin to describe. It took until at least half way through the drilling of questions for me to have a clear visual image in my head like I was in the crash all over again. Now I need to change some of my answers to give correct testimony, and don’t know how I can type it all out or sound sane in my answers. Worst of all, I can’t get the images out of my head to go to sleep. I know God was with me as it all occurred and I know He is the only reason I was at peace wit...

I am reposting this as I love re-reading all of my blogs and seeing how much has changed, and still is changing from the original posts. I wasn't dealing well with the one year mark of the day my kids & I almost died. I realized I hadn't used my time as wisely and effectively as I should have. On Jan 15th, 2010 God gave me exactly what I was to do to start down the path I should be on for how I needed to live. After the time frame for that ended, I still felt like I hadn't done enough. However, God kept taking specific subjects and keeping me awake at night until they were written down. Now I have this unquenchable desire to know more and be closer to God through all I can do and learn. So I am going to publish all I have been writing lately. Some of it seems harsh, but it is just what God has been dealing with me on in my own life. I know it will affect more than me, so I am choosing to publish it. None of what is written is what I think towards anyone, or have t...