Worldly Schmordly
Please read my Intro found in Feb. if you are new to reading my blog.
Let’s start with Galatians 3 being the reference chapter. I am sure there is more scripture for me to find in the morning when I start reading all out. Today’s issue is simply this; we are all in some way poisoned by the world around us. What really matters; success to others or in our own minds, or God’s success? What if plans change so drastically you no longer know which one you are going after, when you had a firm belief that where you were was God’s plan? How has your family environment affected you when it comes down to the times of trouble? I have my own answers for all of these, and hopefully enough of a message to support them. I am excited to write again, and work hard to completely regain a God focus. I think being around negativity has made me drift a bit more than I am prepared to battle with long term in possible direct family time. My family has changed a ton, and chaos or negative attitudes are not something I want back. It is trying to come back through different methods, so I declare war right now on these issues at hand; the bad side of them that is.
I had convinced myself I was God focused as I exercised discipline and self-control to better structure and serve my family, while maintaining more focus on school in the times I had originally completed it in. My rude awakening to how off track I was in my God focus came with my neck. The day I realized I needed to quit school for one quarter to take care of my health, and get back to being well or normal, I completely broke down. It felt like I had failed in that moment because of essentially giving up graduating in the time frame I had planned on. Now, in normal standards this shouldn’t have been an issue because I will still graduate in the year I had planned. Quitting though, was something I was very unprepared to do. I had been failing more in other aspects I enjoyed like eliminating computer time and most TV time, so failing at school, even with a legitimate reason, was simply unacceptable to me. I felt like I had maybe missed God calling me to do this, because I had wanted it so bad. I realized as I struggled though the emotions for a day, how wrong that logic was. God still had a plan for my education and family and God had been my strength and guidance through it all to that point; His plan hadn’t changed, mine had. I was achieving the goals I had set in school through God’s grace as many of the subjects were ones I know I would not have come close to meeting my goal without His help.
Now I will be back in school in 2 months, and can’t wait. I wish I were in school currently, but also understood how impossible it would have been to maintain while on pain medicine to heal. I am excited to regain my focus and self-control through school, home life, and my new adventure of being honestly healthy again. I am not a runner, and never have been. I will be relying on God to use my new adventure for Him, as His strength will be my only guide. I fully plan right now to complete the Twin Cities Marathon in October. I don’t technically have much time to train for it, and there is a good possibility my health care team will tell me running is not an option. I can walk a mile in 10 minutes when I am healthy, and if that’s all the faster I go to complete my goals up until the marathon, to be prepared for the marathon; I will. I would love to be able to jog and walk any and all events, increasing my jobbing ability as I go, but will be happy no matter how God chooses for me to complete it. It has been on my heart for over a year and a half, with school being on my heart for almost 3 years. God has been faithful to not only keep me growing closer to Him while helping my family do the same, He has used me more and more for His glory. Maybe the longer times of training I will meet people who need to hear my story, or just need me to be in that place at that time for another reason. Maybe this is just another building block in my testimony to what God can do; when to the world it seems impossible. It doesn’t matter, just so I am used.
Christians are meant to be the light piercing the darkness. We should not be at all complacent or tolerant of those around us using “Christian” as a name brand badge. The more I love God and have my relationship with Him, the more I find it very disheartening to see people declare the Lord their savior and then live their lives according to what is socially acceptable. Here is a hard fact of reality that I myself faced prior to the blogs; genuine Christians have been hated, scorned, mocked, persecuted, and more because the world deems them crazy to justify how much it hurts when the truth is exposed. Most of the world lives in darkness, even those who have the religion of a belief in God. It is only a religion or a title until you develop the relationship. Once you have the relationship, there is no comparison to what you know and want to do (obey you Lord in every way you can, even with a disapproving society) to how you had lived when it was merely a title or religion. Everyone sins, but when you don’t have the love because you haven’t made time for God, you no longer have the desire to live the way you used to live or were called to live; it becomes hard or even seems impossible. All of the sudden society or worldly standards get justified and excused away in all the things you used to know were wrong, so that you don’t feel guilty for not following what you know is truth. I am disappointed to say I have seen this more in people I looked up to and had high respect for as Christians when I was struggling, and trying to find guidance. I am glad God got a hold of me and established my own roots before knowing how far some had gone from the truth, so I would be better able to pray for them in love and not take it as some sort of misleading sign. There was a point I didn’t consider myself a Christian because I knew my lifestyle was anything but. However, as much as I was choosing to run far and fast from God, there was always a part of me who knew right from wrong and the truth. Running from the truth will not change the truth. It will only make life hurt a lot more until you choose to wake back up to the reality of what you know.
Let’s start with Galatians 3 being the reference chapter. I am sure there is more scripture for me to find in the morning when I start reading all out. Today’s issue is simply this; we are all in some way poisoned by the world around us. What really matters; success to others or in our own minds, or God’s success? What if plans change so drastically you no longer know which one you are going after, when you had a firm belief that where you were was God’s plan? How has your family environment affected you when it comes down to the times of trouble? I have my own answers for all of these, and hopefully enough of a message to support them. I am excited to write again, and work hard to completely regain a God focus. I think being around negativity has made me drift a bit more than I am prepared to battle with long term in possible direct family time. My family has changed a ton, and chaos or negative attitudes are not something I want back. It is trying to come back through different methods, so I declare war right now on these issues at hand; the bad side of them that is.
I had convinced myself I was God focused as I exercised discipline and self-control to better structure and serve my family, while maintaining more focus on school in the times I had originally completed it in. My rude awakening to how off track I was in my God focus came with my neck. The day I realized I needed to quit school for one quarter to take care of my health, and get back to being well or normal, I completely broke down. It felt like I had failed in that moment because of essentially giving up graduating in the time frame I had planned on. Now, in normal standards this shouldn’t have been an issue because I will still graduate in the year I had planned. Quitting though, was something I was very unprepared to do. I had been failing more in other aspects I enjoyed like eliminating computer time and most TV time, so failing at school, even with a legitimate reason, was simply unacceptable to me. I felt like I had maybe missed God calling me to do this, because I had wanted it so bad. I realized as I struggled though the emotions for a day, how wrong that logic was. God still had a plan for my education and family and God had been my strength and guidance through it all to that point; His plan hadn’t changed, mine had. I was achieving the goals I had set in school through God’s grace as many of the subjects were ones I know I would not have come close to meeting my goal without His help.
Now I will be back in school in 2 months, and can’t wait. I wish I were in school currently, but also understood how impossible it would have been to maintain while on pain medicine to heal. I am excited to regain my focus and self-control through school, home life, and my new adventure of being honestly healthy again. I am not a runner, and never have been. I will be relying on God to use my new adventure for Him, as His strength will be my only guide. I fully plan right now to complete the Twin Cities Marathon in October. I don’t technically have much time to train for it, and there is a good possibility my health care team will tell me running is not an option. I can walk a mile in 10 minutes when I am healthy, and if that’s all the faster I go to complete my goals up until the marathon, to be prepared for the marathon; I will. I would love to be able to jog and walk any and all events, increasing my jobbing ability as I go, but will be happy no matter how God chooses for me to complete it. It has been on my heart for over a year and a half, with school being on my heart for almost 3 years. God has been faithful to not only keep me growing closer to Him while helping my family do the same, He has used me more and more for His glory. Maybe the longer times of training I will meet people who need to hear my story, or just need me to be in that place at that time for another reason. Maybe this is just another building block in my testimony to what God can do; when to the world it seems impossible. It doesn’t matter, just so I am used.
Christians are meant to be the light piercing the darkness. We should not be at all complacent or tolerant of those around us using “Christian” as a name brand badge. The more I love God and have my relationship with Him, the more I find it very disheartening to see people declare the Lord their savior and then live their lives according to what is socially acceptable. Here is a hard fact of reality that I myself faced prior to the blogs; genuine Christians have been hated, scorned, mocked, persecuted, and more because the world deems them crazy to justify how much it hurts when the truth is exposed. Most of the world lives in darkness, even those who have the religion of a belief in God. It is only a religion or a title until you develop the relationship. Once you have the relationship, there is no comparison to what you know and want to do (obey you Lord in every way you can, even with a disapproving society) to how you had lived when it was merely a title or religion. Everyone sins, but when you don’t have the love because you haven’t made time for God, you no longer have the desire to live the way you used to live or were called to live; it becomes hard or even seems impossible. All of the sudden society or worldly standards get justified and excused away in all the things you used to know were wrong, so that you don’t feel guilty for not following what you know is truth. I am disappointed to say I have seen this more in people I looked up to and had high respect for as Christians when I was struggling, and trying to find guidance. I am glad God got a hold of me and established my own roots before knowing how far some had gone from the truth, so I would be better able to pray for them in love and not take it as some sort of misleading sign. There was a point I didn’t consider myself a Christian because I knew my lifestyle was anything but. However, as much as I was choosing to run far and fast from God, there was always a part of me who knew right from wrong and the truth. Running from the truth will not change the truth. It will only make life hurt a lot more until you choose to wake back up to the reality of what you know.
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