Thoughts that keep me up at night...

So I have a brief version of my testimony on the main other blog I have, but I don't know that it truly encompasses my "long way around" moments we have been through. I know so many people I dearly loved, have turned against God for moments that would be the long way around, or in moments of compounding hurts and anger or offenses into one large pile to fester and build into a large fireball in the end in their hearts. I often get challenged on "how do you know God is real?" or "how is God good, with all the bad that goes on everywhere?" I live in pain, but I am alive from something many don't get to say that about. How is that not good? No our plans weren't for me to be at home with the kids, or for us to be homeschooling parents. No, the plan wasn't to have my husband working 7 days a week for years, all while waiting on the opportunity for his amazing business plan to be able to be off and running. The thing though, that so many miss i...

I am slowly getting caught up on a few church services I missed, due to cost or the time of day (not just the Sundays, as those I usually watch live). And tonight specifically was part 1 and 2 of Sparkle. I am reeling from it all, and honestly can't wait to listen to them a few more times each. But I am going to address my thoughts now on offenses and how it really does relate to reactions or lack thereof. You see, one of the main components to my testimony, is that I have a lot I could be carrying offenses from, that I am not, and in some cases have seen more healing and restoration than I ever thought possible. So why do I have many reasons most would justify staying offended would be the best answer? Here is as many as are currently in my mind: I have been physically and verbally abused. I have been raped, and well before being raped, was sexually harassed or assaulted on a near daily basis, with many people around me to witness this part and do nothing to ...