Thoughts that keep me up at night...

Please read my Intro found in Feb. if you are new to reading my blog. Trust is the key in any relationship. If we claim we have a relationship with God, then why do we continue to not trust Him in all circumstances? I see more being written on this soon. I have ideas of where to go with it, but have many random thoughts right now as well. Why do Christians deny Hell is a very painful reality when someone close to them dies? Obviously the death hurts a ton, because you loved the person. However, if we never faced a loved one dying who ended up in Hell, it would seem we would have no reason to try and win as many people, strangers or close loved ones to the relationship we know with the end we are promised. The fact is that many Christians never open their mouths to tell anyone they love Jesus because they might offend someone. However, Jesus and God have been offensive for 2000 years, and yet many still did as they knew to be right without fear. We have a promise of protection, and...

Please read my Intro found in Feb. if you are new to reading my blog. At risk of seeming morbid or callous I think I really need to write about what is on my mind: my cousin’s death and how it pertains to comments and thoughts I have heard. I have been around death my entire life, and beyond the shock of it, it doesn’t affect me like it does others. Of course as I adjust to the shock, I have to go through a fair amount of the grief process; I am not saying I don’t grieve. However, explaining death to my 5 ½ year old today wasn’t completely new, but more approached differently. I have always raised Lexi not to be afraid of being dead or hurt because with Jesus we know no matter what it will be ok. Today though when Lexi asked if my cousin was in heaven; I had to find a way to explain hell. This was a conversation I was not quite ready to have. With her being limited in some understandings I explained that God gives everyone the chance to choose Him and His one narrow way to heav...

Please read my Intro found in Feb. if you are new to reading my blog. I realized that despite forgiveness of all the people I needed to forgive, that I still had a ton of “scar tissue” if you will; scars on my heart from memories that I hadn’t allowed God to heal. I know many are in this category but for the sake of more understanding and me being able to sleep better, I am going to write very specifically on this. My biggest area of scar tissue arises when I have to allow myself to trust in love. I tend to get defensive before allowing those who I want close, to actually be close. Also, I tend to lack communication overall when I have deep feelings or a true need to express myself to others. Writing has been helping me heal on this plenty, but God still found ways to say “whoa wait a minute” a few times recently while dealing with my husband. My marriage is the first crucial area I need to fix the scars from. And these scars are not completely my husband’s fault. In fact many are j...